• Section Overview
• Coping with Diagnosis
• Coping Strategies
• Telling People
• Living with Illness
• Complementary Therapies
• Palliative Care
• Addressing Hope & Fear

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Living with a Life Threatening Illness

Although you may have a terminal diagnosis, you could live with your illness for months or even years to come. The inclination for both you and those around may be to focus on dying, what might happen on your death day and following your death.

One of the hardest aspects of living with a terminal illness is trying to find ways to live each day of your life to the full rather than focussing on what comes at the end.

So how do you cope with the changes that living with illness brings and still try to enjoy the life you have left?

Pain Relief

Some illnesses are very painful or can become so. Doctors treating you will undoubtedly have a pain plan as part of your treatment.

Medication is the most commonly used for of pain relief. There is an increasingly sophisticated range of pain relief medication available which can help you to control your pain. Most of the oncology health care professional community for example now views the successful treatment of cancer pain as mandatory, not an option — and the standards in place nationally and internationally illustrate this. If the painkillers you have been prescribed are not working then discuss different options with your doctor. There will almost certainly be a solution that works for you.

Only go to bed during the day if absolutely necessary and if the pain is so severe that you just can't stay up. Bed rest rapidly weakens muscle strength leaving you weaker and able to do less. If you decide to go to bed for as much as 24 hours, keep yourself mobile with gentle stretching exercises. Try to stay involved in the day to day activities in your household.

Here is some information on pain relief and extensive information on the management of pain is also available at Cancer Advocacy.

Relaxation is a very important aspect of pain relief. Relaxation floods your body with endorphins which are nature’s pain relieving chemicals. Try to visualize breathing in calm warming waves to soothe the body part that needs special attention.

Make sure you have at least one relaxation session each day and then add others if the pain increases.
You will need a quiet, undisturbed space and time to help you to use relaxation techniques to control the pain.

Fatigue

Fatigue extends beyond normal tiredness and may overcome you at anytime of the day. If you are suffering from a serious illness, you can expect to feel tired much of the time, caused either by the illness itself or often as a side effect of treatment. It is also common to find it difficult to sleep. Here is some advice on how to cope with sleeplessness.

Be prepared to feel exhausted and so manage your time carefully. This is not the time to worry about spring cleaning or redecorating your house. Only do the tasks you can manage and get other people to help you with the heavier or more onerous tasks. Focus on what you can do not what you can’t. Further help to cope with fatigue can be found here.

Rest as and when you need it, but gentle exercise will help to increase your energy levels. Here is some advice on appropriate exercise.

Eating

It can be hard to eat when you lose your appetite or feel nauseous. Medication, illness and stress can all cause appetite loss and nausea. However eating is the way we fuel our bodies – which gives us the strength to carry on with our daily lives and it is important to maintain your health for as long as possible.

Eating little and often will help with nausea and keep your nutrient levels up. Find the times of day when you are most hungry and eat a good meal then. Plan ahead and make sure you have something prepared. Focusing on eating simple, natural foods and use remedies such as ginger to help with nausea.

If you are struggling with appetite loss or nausea, talk to your doctor about medications to help. Here is further advice on coping with loss of appetite.

Panic

It is common to feel overwhelmed with negative feelings because of your illness and the prospect of dying can lead to panic attacks. Heightened emotions cause the Stress Response which produces adrenaline and increases pain. During an anxiety attack you may feel that you can’t breathe and that this is it – the moment of death - thereby creating further panic.

The key to overcoming panic is to try to stop negative thoughts in their tracks and to have a range of strategies ready to help you to relax. If you know certain things will make you panic then either avoid the situation or have someone with you. Create a phrase and firmly repeat it to yourself such as ‘Stop. This will pass.’ Some people write down their negative thoughts on paper and then burn them to symbolically get rid of them.

If you practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation you can use them when you start to feel panic coming on. Most of us breathe too shallowly which can increase stress and pain levels. Deep breathing from the diaphragm can help to relax your muscles and encourage the production of endorphins which help you to feel good. Don’t force your breathing but do practice deep breathing when you are not in a panic. Sometimes it can help to breathe in and out into a paper bag for a few breaths. This controls the breathing and gets a rhythm going again if you have suffered an anxiety attack.

Try rescue remedies and alternative therapies.

Negative and Positive Thoughts

Talking with your friends and families about your fears and negative thoughts can help to minimize them. Let them know you are trying to turn negative thoughts to positive ones. Your loved ones may also benefit and may be able to work with you.

• Make sure you actively enjoy an activity at least once a day. Ask yourself every day, "What am I going to do to enjoy today?"
• Indulge your senses. Your appetite may be poor but try to enjoy your favourite food or drink. If possible get close to nature, listen to birds, gaze on beautiful views, get close to moving water, smell fragrances and enjoy touch.
• Use affirmative statements. ‘I can control this.’ ‘I am a peaceful person.’ ‘I know this will pass.’
• If you feel like crying - cry. If you feel angry, release the emotion by shouting your feelings into a pillow and thumping it. Try not to focus on the pain or talk about the pain constantly. Smile as much as possible – it helps to keep you calmer.
• Treasure and revisit in your mind all pleasurable events and feelings.
• At the end of each day, write down all the little happy or pleasing events from the day, however small.